In your simple and lyrical way, you have captured exactly what I have been trying to pinpoint for a long time now...not just the deep need for connecting but the why, how and most importantly who we connect with.
This is a post I will come back to again and again in the days ahead and as I try to apply some of these ideas to the cluttered landscape of people in my life.
and then there are the sort of lopsided friends - the writers we love (as I love you) but who don't know or love us individually but do love us in their own way as a collective of readers to whom they entrust their vulnerable selves. This was another wonderful insightful post thank you.
Well said Jeanette. I also appreciate you saying about your diagnosis as the mother of a 16 year old daughter with Autism and ADHD. I hope the diagnosis has bought you some love and understanding for yourself
The pandemic changed many of my friendships. Most people were so cavalier, shortsighted and selfish about protecting the most vulnerable - the old, sick/disabled and most of all children. I lost respect for them. How can we be friends with people we don't respect or trust?
I read this after having lunch with a friend who has drastically changed her view on the world. I do not agree with her ideas and have been pondering over our (longlasting) friendship for a while now. Your words help.
Thank you for this essay. I love the points you express. Friendship can be an enormous comfort in challenging times, and your optimism, as ever, is refreshing. My mother has recently been considering late ADHD diagnosis and it is proving fulfilling for her, self knowledge so we can support ourselves and others at any age is a wonderful thing! Food & companionship (literally: breaking bread) are such important things, still 🤍
Oh this has made me think about a friend I used to share so much with but who now has Alzheimer’s, doesn’t respond to messages, fails to keep, or forgets, plans to meet and generally isn’t the same person. And I feel guilty - because I’m so exhausted trying to keep the whole thing going. And failing. Dismally. While all the while I have to keep my other, real and busy life going.
What an important topic you've written about, Jeanette, and I agree with all you had to say about friendships. Good friends who truly know and appreciate you aren't easily found. I enjoy cooking and food, even the shopping for the ingredients, and it's true what you say about the 'doing' for friends even before they've arrived. A cozy image. :)
Loved reading this. I was adopted too and just last year uncovered the story of my birth father who was murdered in 1980. What stories we can unfold in our lives. Thank you for some great thoughts on friendships that might have ended.
Thank you! Brilliant piece. I never had many close friends and it is always really good to see/hear/notice that that isn't making me an enormous outsider. I love having few close friends but I wish I could see them more often (living in different countries makes it a lot harder).
Love this advice: <<If you do start confiding in a chatbot, consider a cat as well. Cats are brilliant skeptics. And good friends.>> Get a cat, not a chatbot, indeed.
This hit me in the feelings hard. Amen to this!
In your simple and lyrical way, you have captured exactly what I have been trying to pinpoint for a long time now...not just the deep need for connecting but the why, how and most importantly who we connect with.
This is a post I will come back to again and again in the days ahead and as I try to apply some of these ideas to the cluttered landscape of people in my life.
thank you 🙏
and then there are the sort of lopsided friends - the writers we love (as I love you) but who don't know or love us individually but do love us in their own way as a collective of readers to whom they entrust their vulnerable selves. This was another wonderful insightful post thank you.
Well said Jeanette. I also appreciate you saying about your diagnosis as the mother of a 16 year old daughter with Autism and ADHD. I hope the diagnosis has bought you some love and understanding for yourself
The pandemic changed many of my friendships. Most people were so cavalier, shortsighted and selfish about protecting the most vulnerable - the old, sick/disabled and most of all children. I lost respect for them. How can we be friends with people we don't respect or trust?
I read this after having lunch with a friend who has drastically changed her view on the world. I do not agree with her ideas and have been pondering over our (longlasting) friendship for a while now. Your words help.
Thank you for this essay. I love the points you express. Friendship can be an enormous comfort in challenging times, and your optimism, as ever, is refreshing. My mother has recently been considering late ADHD diagnosis and it is proving fulfilling for her, self knowledge so we can support ourselves and others at any age is a wonderful thing! Food & companionship (literally: breaking bread) are such important things, still 🤍
Yes we go on learning from friends after they leave us. Thanks for this important set of thoughts
Oh this has made me think about a friend I used to share so much with but who now has Alzheimer’s, doesn’t respond to messages, fails to keep, or forgets, plans to meet and generally isn’t the same person. And I feel guilty - because I’m so exhausted trying to keep the whole thing going. And failing. Dismally. While all the while I have to keep my other, real and busy life going.
What an important topic you've written about, Jeanette, and I agree with all you had to say about friendships. Good friends who truly know and appreciate you aren't easily found. I enjoy cooking and food, even the shopping for the ingredients, and it's true what you say about the 'doing' for friends even before they've arrived. A cozy image. :)
Ooooh - all filled up with the right stuff. Thank you for this.
Loved reading this. I was adopted too and just last year uncovered the story of my birth father who was murdered in 1980. What stories we can unfold in our lives. Thank you for some great thoughts on friendships that might have ended.
All they need to string me up are my letters to “my” repugnant Senators and one look at my books…
Thank you! Brilliant piece. I never had many close friends and it is always really good to see/hear/notice that that isn't making me an enormous outsider. I love having few close friends but I wish I could see them more often (living in different countries makes it a lot harder).
Love this advice: <<If you do start confiding in a chatbot, consider a cat as well. Cats are brilliant skeptics. And good friends.>> Get a cat, not a chatbot, indeed.