June 1 2026

And it's a Monday... perfect

I was too tired to post yesterday. Been in Paris working, and in horrible heat, and then it was the football, and thousands of men raised under patriarchy think it’s fine to smash up parts of the city, loot shops, set off fireworks, terrorise women, attack police, riot, injure, and make sure no-one sleeps, and that’s when their team WINS.

Boys will be boys, hey? Right! And women are told that Feminism is the problem.

But no, I am not writing about that shit today because today is the first of the month and this is a call to use the day - and the month - well.

We have 12 new beginnings. Yes, it’s arbitrary, and if you prefer, you could use the new moons and have 13 new beginnings, or the full moons as a mid-month reflection. Whatever you choose, choose something to stop time calling the shots. We are all so busy. The days fly past. Modern life is a like a thief on a moped who snatches your watch.

What can we do? Last week I wrote about the folly of chasing after time because we can never catch up. This week, just a simple method, made by you, to feel that you have agency.

What does this month of June look like for you? What books would you like to read? What music do you want to listen to? What meals would you love to cook? Did you book in a friend? The diary is probably stacked with To-Do’s. What else is in there? Writing it down helps to make it real. Where are you in your diary this month?

Women, especially, are there for others all the time. And some of that time we need for ourselves. It’s not selfish; it’s health. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual health.

On the first day of the month I get up earlier, make coffee, because that’s my thing, and sit quietly to picture the month ahead. Visualising - then writing it down- is a sound technique. There might be a big event coming up - how do I feel about that? Could be work, could be a wedding, could be a vacation, could be a reckoning with a partner or a friend, could be something I would rather not do. Could be my child finishing exams, and that’s a milestone for a parent as well as a child. The key here is that cringe-word, mindfulness, which I hate, because I feel that a yoga session might soon follow, and to all of you who LOVE yoga, I am glad, but unlike coffee, it’s not for me. We are all different. But whether you yoga-mat and meditate, or open a bottle of wine (or both) we all need what I prefer to call Awareness.

I can’t call it attention because that takes us into the dreary economics of the Attention Economy - ie, how can I get yours so that you will buy my product?

So I won’t call it Mindfulness, or Attention, but I will call it Awareness (which might make me sound like a recovering alcoholic) or I could call it Presence, but that can be faux-spiritual, and I am not. Choose whatever word you like, just as you can choose whatever monthly moment you like - sun or moon calendar - as long as you choose a date - yes, just one will do, and call it by any name that allows you to focus yourself on yourself.

We all know from our own experience how the mind unravels throughout the day. We can manage our executive function - women are great at the To-Do list - but what about our connected, alive, creative, aware, present, whole, fully conscious self? That’s why a reset/recall/recalibration/rehabilitation session at the start of the month can really help. I write down much more than my To-do list (extensive, like yours). I write down what I would like to think about/read about/listen to/learn/manage better/confront/let go of, or start to let go of (why is letting go so much harder than holding on?). And so on.

Then, on the First Day of the Next Month, I take a look at what I wrote, sometimes going back another month too. This isn’t so I can evaluate my efficiency. I am not encouraging you to be your own line-manager. Like you, I am efficient. This method is so that I can focus on other stuff. Beyond the metrics of a being a productive citizen or a good mother or a wise boss or an organised this, that, other. I know you are those things.

Two years ago, at the start of June, I was in a bad place. I had a health-scare. Rashes, boils, fatigue. Then, uterine polyps were removed and they were not benign. (Don’t worry I am fine). I wanted to write my book and get it finished whatever happened. I thought that book might be my last book. (It won’t be).

My god-child had been Sectioned and I was visiting her every week in the Warnford Hospital in Oxford. She was a student. I have a terror of being locked up because of my childhood experiences, and so I had to mentally prepare, and physically recover, (sweats&shakes) each week, on the hour-drive there and back, while not making the visit ‘about me’. I did work in a psychiatric hospital for a year before I went to study at Oxford myself, many years ago, but I had keys to doors. No-keys-to-doors is a recurring nightmare for me, because it was a recurring daymare, as a child. Either I was locked up in the house or locked out of the house. Too often. It’s ok. It’s done.

That year, 2024, got worse, not better. The only good thing was writing my book ( One Aladdin Two Lamps) and finishing it in December 2024. Two months after the death of my close friend and first publisher, Philippa Brewster, and then, a fortnight later, the death of my god-child. She killed herself.

A hard year.

So what use were the monthly interventions?

They were exactly that. Interventions. Interventions in Time. A grip on slip. I was holding on. Reminding myself at the start of every month - writing down what I had to do so as not to fail others - yes. Writing down what I needed to do so as not to fail myself.

To stay alive, to stay creative, to stay aware, to stay present. To suffer with sense. Suffering can knock out awareness. That makes suffering worse.

The method helped me. The interventions - for me each week at that time - made a difference to my state of body and mind. You see, when I write things here it’s always because I know it for myself. It might help you too

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Here’s my cat, Sunshine, being present and aware this morning. And the ox-eye daisies in the veg-cage have their own way of being present too. That building beyond is my writing studio.

It’s June 1st. What will you make of this month?