Thank you. I've been housebound for two months and bedbound before that, and I'm finding it incredibly difficult to be alone with myself, when in a previous life I loved it. I guess it's having pen and paper in reach and the phone not.
I'm just back from 3 weeks of living and working in a remote part of west Scotland. Honestly, we don't need half as much as we're conditioned to think we need. That goes for social interaction as well as material 'stuff'. Loved this post, as always x
It's nice to not take pictures of everything, but instead, to simply experience seeing the thing. It's nice to not lookup every single question that comes to you, but instead, maybe to wonder about it. Nothing wrong with wonder, and it often leads to something more. Yes, as you suggest, I agree that the device takes us away from ourselves, and that's a shame. Navigating this difficult world is best done when we are fully present, fully ourselves, so this device-hood does a disservice not only to ourselves, but the collective as well. Great article. I read it at my desk on my laptop, not on my device, just so you know I take your message seriously! :) Thank you!
As a social introvert, I do a lot of HALO in my life yet would love some decent intellectual company at times. Moved to a super conservative, patriarchal, and mono-cultural place 5.5 years ago from inner city Sydney, (had no idea how backward the place I moved to was/is) so I have been challenged on many levels to 'survive'. Because of this, I have increased online use which is still probably a lot less than many as I am not that enamoured by it all. I only use one social media platform and read posts like this via substack.
Oh Helen, you might have to move again! it might feel impossible but anything is better than slowly sinking! Introverts are good at surviving, but also we hold on when our extrovert friends would go 'to hell with it' and leave .
How I wish I could move, Jeanette. It's a little more complex than I have presented. I moved to the place I am now in order to afford a home. I have always been a renter and would continue to be one but cannot due to rising rents and lack of public housing. So I went out of my comfort zone and bought a place for the first time at the age of 57. Sydney is one of my favourite places I have lived but will never be able to rent there let alone buy, hence the place I now live in. This is the short version of the story. Without being perverse, I have learnt a lot about myself during my struggles here, and while I'd prefer to live in Sydney, here is where I am, with a mortgage free roof over my head. Sometimes we compromise for practical reasons. Also, at 65 y.o., financial choices dwindle.
I agree that social media can be a huge time-wasting distraction from ‘real life’ but it can also be enjoyable, educational, even liberating. Depends on one’s personal circumstances, particularly *age*. Yes, it’s overflowing with nonsense, trivia and ugliness, but it’s also full of fascinating podcasts, blogs and even interesting substack posts! As for WhatsApp, it’s brilliant for staying in touch with family and friends, and never crosses my mind who else might be on it. If you’re an introvert, no FOMO, and content to be living at home alone, I guess HALO seems natural. For me, as a husband, father, and grandfather, “I love it when I am not invited” sounds unnatural if not a bit weird, sorry.
Agree, but then again there is choice, a personal curating that goes on, or should. We tend to lump all social media as being more or less the same, a big blob, largely evil, when in reality there is a richness of content that can be found that enables you to pursue your own interests and was never readily accessible before.
I worked out, once, that I could happily spend 86% of my life having no 'in person' contact with other humans. A quick dip into social media throughout that time would be more than adequate to sate my limited 'people' needs. I still feel this way – despite failing to arrange my life so as to make this state of affairs my reality.
So I get, completely, what Jeanette is saying here. That dopamine hit that attends each like and repost diminishes a little more with every exposure to it. I don't even have my notifications switched on to be informed of such interactions. It's just numbers. Give me thinking time, walking time, just-being time any time. Save for about 14% of my time, anyhow.
Bloody love your posts.
Thank you. I've been housebound for two months and bedbound before that, and I'm finding it incredibly difficult to be alone with myself, when in a previous life I loved it. I guess it's having pen and paper in reach and the phone not.
I can relate to that… it’s somehow excruciating to be robbed of the choice.
I'm just back from 3 weeks of living and working in a remote part of west Scotland. Honestly, we don't need half as much as we're conditioned to think we need. That goes for social interaction as well as material 'stuff'. Loved this post, as always x
Jeanette Winterson - thank you.
Nature and Us: A History through Art’.
BBC iPlayer.
I think you will like it.
Being an introvert, I so relate to your words. 😉
It's nice to not take pictures of everything, but instead, to simply experience seeing the thing. It's nice to not lookup every single question that comes to you, but instead, maybe to wonder about it. Nothing wrong with wonder, and it often leads to something more. Yes, as you suggest, I agree that the device takes us away from ourselves, and that's a shame. Navigating this difficult world is best done when we are fully present, fully ourselves, so this device-hood does a disservice not only to ourselves, but the collective as well. Great article. I read it at my desk on my laptop, not on my device, just so you know I take your message seriously! :) Thank you!
Wonderful reminders for a healthy mind!
HALO - I love it!
As a social introvert, I do a lot of HALO in my life yet would love some decent intellectual company at times. Moved to a super conservative, patriarchal, and mono-cultural place 5.5 years ago from inner city Sydney, (had no idea how backward the place I moved to was/is) so I have been challenged on many levels to 'survive'. Because of this, I have increased online use which is still probably a lot less than many as I am not that enamoured by it all. I only use one social media platform and read posts like this via substack.
Oh Helen, you might have to move again! it might feel impossible but anything is better than slowly sinking! Introverts are good at surviving, but also we hold on when our extrovert friends would go 'to hell with it' and leave .
How I wish I could move, Jeanette. It's a little more complex than I have presented. I moved to the place I am now in order to afford a home. I have always been a renter and would continue to be one but cannot due to rising rents and lack of public housing. So I went out of my comfort zone and bought a place for the first time at the age of 57. Sydney is one of my favourite places I have lived but will never be able to rent there let alone buy, hence the place I now live in. This is the short version of the story. Without being perverse, I have learnt a lot about myself during my struggles here, and while I'd prefer to live in Sydney, here is where I am, with a mortgage free roof over my head. Sometimes we compromise for practical reasons. Also, at 65 y.o., financial choices dwindle.
I agree that social media can be a huge time-wasting distraction from ‘real life’ but it can also be enjoyable, educational, even liberating. Depends on one’s personal circumstances, particularly *age*. Yes, it’s overflowing with nonsense, trivia and ugliness, but it’s also full of fascinating podcasts, blogs and even interesting substack posts! As for WhatsApp, it’s brilliant for staying in touch with family and friends, and never crosses my mind who else might be on it. If you’re an introvert, no FOMO, and content to be living at home alone, I guess HALO seems natural. For me, as a husband, father, and grandfather, “I love it when I am not invited” sounds unnatural if not a bit weird, sorry.
Surely Ms Winterson hasn’t missed the irony that these thoughts are accessed on social media?
Agree, but then again there is choice, a personal curating that goes on, or should. We tend to lump all social media as being more or less the same, a big blob, largely evil, when in reality there is a richness of content that can be found that enables you to pursue your own interests and was never readily accessible before.
I worked out, once, that I could happily spend 86% of my life having no 'in person' contact with other humans. A quick dip into social media throughout that time would be more than adequate to sate my limited 'people' needs. I still feel this way – despite failing to arrange my life so as to make this state of affairs my reality.
So I get, completely, what Jeanette is saying here. That dopamine hit that attends each like and repost diminishes a little more with every exposure to it. I don't even have my notifications switched on to be informed of such interactions. It's just numbers. Give me thinking time, walking time, just-being time any time. Save for about 14% of my time, anyhow.
A great article. Yes, we are social creatures who crave contact. There is nothing that can replace real human connection.
I think I needed this, and the reminder that alone is not bad🫶
So refreshingly wise.
HALO …… one of my favourite places. Great post. Thank you for the reminder.