This year will be different and sad because it will be the first Christmas without my mother. <But she left me a great legacy: about some children who went to the park with their father
The father used to stop to talk with my mother and her friends from the bank and on my way home my mother told me that I had to meet some endearing 1-year-old twins and that their father carried them on her lap. So
I decided one afternoon to go meet them. This is how this friendship story with these twins who have no mother began. My mother died this year and the children are now 4 years old. They claim me, and every time I see them they open their arms to me, all the sadness goes away in a moment. They also do magic (abracadabra, abracadabra) and bring my mother to me at night to see her. The next day they ask me if I was with her. They need me and I need them more. It is a trade in which I always win.
Happy Christmas Jeanette and to everyone. It's Boxing Day afternoon here in Australia. I have been reading Christmas Days - it's one of my precious Christmas rituals. I read it through every year, always finding something new in the stories and working my way through the recipes.
I love this time of year, no matter where I am. I love this book, it is such a treasure.
I have just decorated my tree and put lights up outside my stone cottage. Later, I will read Christmas Days as this has become a ritual now from Solstice. So what does it mean to me? Light; scent, wood and fire and heat from a good Sherry or single malt. I spend this time alone as much as possible - to catch up with myself and see what is real . The night sky tonight is clear. It is crisp and cold with a stiff breeze whipping up over my part of West Cornwall. The music I am listening to is ancient too…..have a good time everyone and thanks Jeanette for making me reflect on why I love this time of the year.
I love Christmas. It’s like a big hug of mulled wine and glitter. This year I am missing my Mum, not only because it is Christmas but because she was born at lunchtime on 25 December. Grandma always said that she never forgave Mum for making her miss her Christmas dinner. Now we no longer have to seek out birthday wrapping paper in December for a separate gift (no joint presents allowed). We no longer have to hunt down the rarest of cards saying “on your Christmas birthday”. We no longer have to watch my mum tackling her massive pile of double presents, painstakingly opening them with nail scissors to save the paper, long after we have torn through ours like white tornados. We no longer have to eat a birthday cake course after Christmas pudding when we are already more stuffed than the turkey. And those 200 hundred Christmas Cards she used to send are not being written. To quote the London Underground, Mind The Gap this Christmas
Excellent musings JW, some very wise words. Christmas has always brought mixed feelings for me, too many bad times. That's one reason I like writing, especially poetry, because it helps you put feelings into words, you work through the dark corners of your mind...
I'd like to add a proviso to your musings. People can end up lonely for all sorts of reasons, not just because what has happened in the past. They might live in a lousy home environment, be constantly broke, have health problems / disabilities, be elderly and have lost their life partner... It's a very long list, many of us will end up lonely at some point. Yes your advice is right, you can make a big jump and try to make a new life for yourself, but that can be very difficult depending on your life now, eg you might be stuck with young kids in a toxic relationship (and Xmas is an awful time for domestic violence).
And yet, there's so much pressure on having a good time at Christmas. What do you find when you dare step foot in a shop? You're bombarded with Xmas tunes. You turn on the TV - "yowee! It's Christmas!!" The message is simple: "Have a great time!! And if you aren't, why not??" Which in short order becomes "What is wrong with you?"
To many, Christmas has become almost a popularity contest. How many cards can you string across the living room? How many parties can you tick off? How many times has your partner phoned you up out the blue to tell you they love you? The problem with all this is it's based on deep-rooted insecurities. How popular are you? Do others really love you? Many would rather go to any lengths than spend Xmas alone. And it can be especially difficult if you haven't worked through your own dusty corners of insecurity.
So we need to avoid reinforcing the message that there's something wrong with you if you end up alone, and that if only you pull your socks up, you'll be popular again. You only develop personal resilience by "knowing thyself", or to put it in religious terms, as Jesus said "love others as you love yourself". You can't reach out to others effectively until you do, and you often can't do that, while day to day problems are digging away in the background.
Have as happy a Christmas as you can everyone, whatever your circumstances xx
JW, precious your story,
This year will be different and sad because it will be the first Christmas without my mother. <But she left me a great legacy: about some children who went to the park with their father
The father used to stop to talk with my mother and her friends from the bank and on my way home my mother told me that I had to meet some endearing 1-year-old twins and that their father carried them on her lap. So
I decided one afternoon to go meet them. This is how this friendship story with these twins who have no mother began. My mother died this year and the children are now 4 years old. They claim me, and every time I see them they open their arms to me, all the sadness goes away in a moment. They also do magic (abracadabra, abracadabra) and bring my mother to me at night to see her. The next day they ask me if I was with her. They need me and I need them more. It is a trade in which I always win.
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What a lovely story . 2 little lanterns who will always light up your life
Happy Christmas Jeanette and to everyone. It's Boxing Day afternoon here in Australia. I have been reading Christmas Days - it's one of my precious Christmas rituals. I read it through every year, always finding something new in the stories and working my way through the recipes.
I love this time of year, no matter where I am. I love this book, it is such a treasure.
Thanks Jeanette
I have just decorated my tree and put lights up outside my stone cottage. Later, I will read Christmas Days as this has become a ritual now from Solstice. So what does it mean to me? Light; scent, wood and fire and heat from a good Sherry or single malt. I spend this time alone as much as possible - to catch up with myself and see what is real . The night sky tonight is clear. It is crisp and cold with a stiff breeze whipping up over my part of West Cornwall. The music I am listening to is ancient too…..have a good time everyone and thanks Jeanette for making me reflect on why I love this time of the year.
I love Christmas. It’s like a big hug of mulled wine and glitter. This year I am missing my Mum, not only because it is Christmas but because she was born at lunchtime on 25 December. Grandma always said that she never forgave Mum for making her miss her Christmas dinner. Now we no longer have to seek out birthday wrapping paper in December for a separate gift (no joint presents allowed). We no longer have to hunt down the rarest of cards saying “on your Christmas birthday”. We no longer have to watch my mum tackling her massive pile of double presents, painstakingly opening them with nail scissors to save the paper, long after we have torn through ours like white tornados. We no longer have to eat a birthday cake course after Christmas pudding when we are already more stuffed than the turkey. And those 200 hundred Christmas Cards she used to send are not being written. To quote the London Underground, Mind The Gap this Christmas
Excellent musings JW, some very wise words. Christmas has always brought mixed feelings for me, too many bad times. That's one reason I like writing, especially poetry, because it helps you put feelings into words, you work through the dark corners of your mind...
I'd like to add a proviso to your musings. People can end up lonely for all sorts of reasons, not just because what has happened in the past. They might live in a lousy home environment, be constantly broke, have health problems / disabilities, be elderly and have lost their life partner... It's a very long list, many of us will end up lonely at some point. Yes your advice is right, you can make a big jump and try to make a new life for yourself, but that can be very difficult depending on your life now, eg you might be stuck with young kids in a toxic relationship (and Xmas is an awful time for domestic violence).
And yet, there's so much pressure on having a good time at Christmas. What do you find when you dare step foot in a shop? You're bombarded with Xmas tunes. You turn on the TV - "yowee! It's Christmas!!" The message is simple: "Have a great time!! And if you aren't, why not??" Which in short order becomes "What is wrong with you?"
To many, Christmas has become almost a popularity contest. How many cards can you string across the living room? How many parties can you tick off? How many times has your partner phoned you up out the blue to tell you they love you? The problem with all this is it's based on deep-rooted insecurities. How popular are you? Do others really love you? Many would rather go to any lengths than spend Xmas alone. And it can be especially difficult if you haven't worked through your own dusty corners of insecurity.
So we need to avoid reinforcing the message that there's something wrong with you if you end up alone, and that if only you pull your socks up, you'll be popular again. You only develop personal resilience by "knowing thyself", or to put it in religious terms, as Jesus said "love others as you love yourself". You can't reach out to others effectively until you do, and you often can't do that, while day to day problems are digging away in the background.
Have as happy a Christmas as you can everyone, whatever your circumstances xx
I’ve been very preoccupied with work and not tapped in to the season as in years’ past. I haven’t even decorated my tree yet.
Our usual family traditions center on togetherness. We’re happy to just be in each other’s presence and share good food, stories, and maybe a movie.
I need a second chance at organizing my life. It’s way too full right now.