Feels a bit counter-intuitive to click the heart button after reading this, but would also feel rude not to acknowledge such a thought-provoking read. One ray of light in the gloom is that I do see more people reading actual books on trains these days than I did a few years ago.
Glad to hear this Kate. I am exploring this too, we'll see how it works out. I wanted to write 12 Bytes to get a bigger picture on AI and demystify the deliberate Tech Bro smoke and mirrors. They are not comfortable with challenge but challenged they must be!
How fascinating to see synchronicity of thought appear almost instantaneously. I had all of these thoughts as I've been trying to "mirror talk" to truly find myself during these past few months of life changing events. But yesterday afternoon, after a long dry spell from painting, I decided to try to paint my own portrait, to really try to "see myself". It is much harder than we realize, and even harder to paint. I've never been able to lie when I write, but I found myself trying to lie on my canvas. After several versions of who I used, or wanted to be (larger eyes, fuller lips, fewer wrinkles), and realizing it wasn't me at all, I went with the truth, and there I was...with my own lopsided, aging, full faced, thin-lipped Mona Lisa smile.
I too have often wondered why I have spent time on self-reflection/ soul-searching. I agree that introverts can find it difficult to find the way back, but I am convinced that self-reflection makes us more human. Thank you for writing so beautifully.
Thank you again for your wise words so hard won. I’m an introvert ( mainly) with a cherished inner life (despite the dark times)so what you say resonates with me. For me it’s wonderful that I have access to your wisdom. I love your depth, honesty and boldness.
Thank you for this. I’ve forgotten what I look like recently, I’ve just noticed the internal oddities and shortcomings and have been found wanting. Two things today have made me think about this, your words and a small girl who was at the Shrine Church in Walsingham I visited today. She totally unselfconsciously, got up on the step, stood over the ‘precious‘ altar cloth and kissed it, then kneeled down and did the same to the front of the altar. It was so completely spontaneous and wholesome and lovely and she seemed fully certain of her right to be there doing this.
oh so good, especially this: "You look in the mirror and you see what you want to see. That is not reality". If you're not connected to reality that means you are not connected to your own consciousness.
This is a beautifully written explanation regarding the search for our own spirit, soul. There are so many false distractions to divert us. Love the cat visualizing the lion! Thank you Jeanette. ☺️
I loved your recent collection of short stories. I’m in a low residency MFA program at Bennington and quite surprisingly ended up writing my critical paper on hauntings in literature (a place).
This Substack is exactly what we all need this year! And is prompting me to go further in my own exploration… a tentative, vulnerable look inwards to help find ways outward. I was always a fan of your books (12 Bytes is gold!! Orange is a loving memory of earlier book club days) but these posts are something I look forward to now. Thank you for writing and sharing your thoughts.
Thank you. This has arrived in my shiny phone thing just after reading Eve Kovofsky ‘s essay about paranoid reading and reparative reading. My inner world just got two new sunbeams shine on the inside.
Beautifully expressed piece. People are so consumed by reflection they’re having para-social relationships with their actual para-social selves. Self virtualisation ahead of and instead of self reflection and distorting the fullest self actualisation as fully formed adults. The vanity is extreme.
Not long after my father died I happened to look in the bathroom mirror and for a second or two I saw him, not me, in the mirror. Shook me rigid, I can tell you. After those couple of times it's never happened like that again, but a few times since I've seen him looking over my shoulder, which I've found comforting.
I wonder what this says about my sense of identity....
Feels a bit counter-intuitive to click the heart button after reading this, but would also feel rude not to acknowledge such a thought-provoking read. One ray of light in the gloom is that I do see more people reading actual books on trains these days than I did a few years ago.
Glad to hear this Kate. I am exploring this too, we'll see how it works out. I wanted to write 12 Bytes to get a bigger picture on AI and demystify the deliberate Tech Bro smoke and mirrors. They are not comfortable with challenge but challenged they must be!
How fascinating to see synchronicity of thought appear almost instantaneously. I had all of these thoughts as I've been trying to "mirror talk" to truly find myself during these past few months of life changing events. But yesterday afternoon, after a long dry spell from painting, I decided to try to paint my own portrait, to really try to "see myself". It is much harder than we realize, and even harder to paint. I've never been able to lie when I write, but I found myself trying to lie on my canvas. After several versions of who I used, or wanted to be (larger eyes, fuller lips, fewer wrinkles), and realizing it wasn't me at all, I went with the truth, and there I was...with my own lopsided, aging, full faced, thin-lipped Mona Lisa smile.
I too have often wondered why I have spent time on self-reflection/ soul-searching. I agree that introverts can find it difficult to find the way back, but I am convinced that self-reflection makes us more human. Thank you for writing so beautifully.
I ask the animals for help, too. There's much to learn from watching a colony of sea lions playing, fighting, nursing, and dreaming on the shore.
Yes!
It's one of the few things that keep me alive: art is never a waste of time, along with the people who love me and whom I love.
This is my favorite thing I've read on substack by a mile. I will treasure it and read it often, sharing it far and wide. Thank you so much Jeanette!
Thank you again for your wise words so hard won. I’m an introvert ( mainly) with a cherished inner life (despite the dark times)so what you say resonates with me. For me it’s wonderful that I have access to your wisdom. I love your depth, honesty and boldness.
Thank you for this. I’ve forgotten what I look like recently, I’ve just noticed the internal oddities and shortcomings and have been found wanting. Two things today have made me think about this, your words and a small girl who was at the Shrine Church in Walsingham I visited today. She totally unselfconsciously, got up on the step, stood over the ‘precious‘ altar cloth and kissed it, then kneeled down and did the same to the front of the altar. It was so completely spontaneous and wholesome and lovely and she seemed fully certain of her right to be there doing this.
I have to say I cried…
oh so good, especially this: "You look in the mirror and you see what you want to see. That is not reality". If you're not connected to reality that means you are not connected to your own consciousness.
This is a beautifully written explanation regarding the search for our own spirit, soul. There are so many false distractions to divert us. Love the cat visualizing the lion! Thank you Jeanette. ☺️
I loved your recent collection of short stories. I’m in a low residency MFA program at Bennington and quite surprisingly ended up writing my critical paper on hauntings in literature (a place).
This Substack is exactly what we all need this year! And is prompting me to go further in my own exploration… a tentative, vulnerable look inwards to help find ways outward. I was always a fan of your books (12 Bytes is gold!! Orange is a loving memory of earlier book club days) but these posts are something I look forward to now. Thank you for writing and sharing your thoughts.
Thank you. This has arrived in my shiny phone thing just after reading Eve Kovofsky ‘s essay about paranoid reading and reparative reading. My inner world just got two new sunbeams shine on the inside.
Beautifully expressed piece. People are so consumed by reflection they’re having para-social relationships with their actual para-social selves. Self virtualisation ahead of and instead of self reflection and distorting the fullest self actualisation as fully formed adults. The vanity is extreme.
Not long after my father died I happened to look in the bathroom mirror and for a second or two I saw him, not me, in the mirror. Shook me rigid, I can tell you. After those couple of times it's never happened like that again, but a few times since I've seen him looking over my shoulder, which I've found comforting.
I wonder what this says about my sense of identity....